When the How Is None of Your Business

by Aja  - November 2, 2022

One of the biggest revelations on my own journey up the Spiral of Life, or however you choose to call this self-discovery adventure we have all signed up for, has been that apparently, the how of achieving a certain goal is actually none of my business.

Let me back up a little.

I don’t know about you, but I have certainly been taught, throughout the indoctrination process we tend to refer to as growing up, to keep my goals achievable. Manageable. To break them down into smaller tasks so as to not allow them to overwhelm me.

In other words—to keep them small. To not dream big, because I might end up disappointed.

Is that what you have been taught, as well?

And so, when my mentor came along, declaring that if I had any idea as to how I might achieve whatever goal I have set for myself, then my goal clearly isn’t big enough, and announcing that the how was none of my business, I was blown away.

It suddenly became clear to me why I had so often failed to achieve my dreams.

Well, actually, that’s not true. I have had quite a few of my dreams come true in my life, for which I am immensely grateful. What I have consistently failed to achieve were my goals, but I kept those in a separate category, never treating them in the same way as my dreams. Dreams come true, that I knew. Goals are achieved. Or, as the case often appeared to be, they are not.

But if you think about it, what are goals, other than dreams? Or rather, what are dreams, other than the worthiest goals; your highest aspirations?

Following your dreams is what makes Life worth living.

And the reason dreams often come true, whereas so many goal remain unattained, is because when you classify something as a dream, you allow yourself to dream about it. Fantasize, with no strings attached. Unburdened by the need to figure out how to make it real, giving into it simple because of how wonderfully warm and fuzzy it makes you feel when you allow your imagination to run around freely, chasing your dreams.

That warm and fuzzy feeling, you see, that’s the secret. But it is also the subject matter of another post.

In this one, I would like to stay focused on goals and hows, because what I have just come to realize is that, while we often sabotage ourselves by focusing on how to achieve a certain goal, rather than treating in like a dream and allowing the Universe to figure out the how—because, as I am sure you would agree, the Universe can just reach into its quantum sack of infinite possibilities and come up with the most fantastic how that your limited rational mind would haver been able to conceive—we equally often sabotage ourselves because we do not know the how.

I know it sounds like one and the same, but it really isn’t, and I am about to explain what I mean, but first, I want to apologize for the previous sentence; sorry, I get carried away when I am excited.

So, let me clear this up.

  1. When you have a dream, a certain goal so big, so infinitely worthy, and so fantastically impossible you cannot possibly imagine how it might ever come true, do not try to figure out the how. Just keep dreaming. Before you fall asleep at night, indulge in conjuring up the tiniest of details in that perfect dream of yours, leaving the how up to the Universe.
  2. When the Universe starts sending you signs and hits and synchronicities and ideas that will lead you towards your dream, because that inevitably will happen, do not allow not knowing the how trip you up. When you suddenly get a brilliant idea, and you’d need a website to send it out into the world, but you do not now how to make one, for heaven’s sake, find someone who does. Or just learn how to make one.

This is just an example, but in today’s world, not knowing how to do something is no longer a viable excuse not to do it anyway. All the knowledge, or, if you choose to make the how somebody else’s business, all the help and assistance you could ever possibly need to make your dream come true, are at your fingertips.

Go for it. Learn, ask, delegate. Keep moving.

Most importantly, keep dreaming.

And if you feel like there is something you would like to ask me, by all means, get in touch.

Love,

Aja

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Aja

A perfectionist overachiever in my many endeavors, I spent most of my existence doing everything “right”— only to wake up one day and realize none of it actually made me happy, so I uprooted myself from the unfulfilling familiarity of everything I thought I knew.
Today, I am consciously creating the reality I have always dreamt of as the Untamed Dreamer, following my passion of inspiring and empowering fellow human Beings to do the same.

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