Last night, I created the time and space to go inwards.
To look at the things inside me I usually chose to avoid.
The things I prefer to pretend aren’t there. And I sat with them…
Just me. On a gloomy, rainy, autumn afternoon.
Like the colorful leaves on the tree outside my window, parts of me are being torn and carried away by the wind. They are dying. Dying to make room for the new Life that awaits.
Everything that no longer supports whom I am becoming is falling apart. I myself am unbecoming. Melting away with the cleansing rain.
The darkness is calling me, demanding I go deep this time.
That I return to my roots, my lineage, my inner child, unravelling the patterns that sit deep within my body, but are no longer mine to hold. Or perhaps, they never were.
All that is out of alignment with my Truth must go now.
Scorpio demands it.
And no rock can be left unturned.
Everything I’ve been avoiding, refusing to look at, is resurfacing, but this time, it’s as if my gaze is fixated upon it. I can no longer look away. And, having no other option than being honest with myself, I no longer want to look away.
I no longer choose to be held hostage by years, decades, centuries — even millennia — of faulty conditioning and generational trauma.
As unsettling as it is to just sit here and allow all my shadows to resurface, there is one thing that frightens me more than the skeletons falling out of the closet: the thought of them staying hidden, and keeping me lodged in that dark, constricted space alongside them.
And so, as the world outside gets ready to mask the real fear with scary movies and hide under the costumes to conceal the inner demons and avoid having to face them, I welcome them.
I welcome them with an open heart, knowing that, like me, they seek liberation, and that, if I finally allow them to come out of the dark depths I have locked them in, they will, in turn, liberate me.
In the meantime, night has fallen, testing for the courage to stay seated here, alone in the dark, willing to face whatever shows up.
The wind outside is picking up speed, and the drops are getting heavier, as if they’re getting ready to wash out and blow away whatever resurfaces tonight.
To help me clear and cleanse all the stagnating energies.
To support me through this process by providing the perfect backdrop to this dark night of the Soul.
Yet in this darkness, a seed of Light is taking root.
A Lightness is emerging.
But for the Sun to rise again tomorrow, I have to make it through the night.
And for a new Life to emerge, like the sprouts in spring, I have to allow the old to fall away now.
Like that tree out there in the howling wind, I will be much emptier tomorrow.
All is exactly as it is meant to be.
...
I sat with all these things until I fell asleep, and I continued to sit with them today, in peace and quiet, looking inwards, courageously exploring, until I felt a weight lift off my chest.
And as it did, the heavy clouds lifted as well, revealing a crisp, clear blue sky, perfectly aligned with how I was now feeling inside.Does that mean my work is done? Of course not, it never is.
And even though I now feel lighter and I have a sense of clarity about where I’m going next, I know that Nature is calling us all to go inside now.
The darkness is an invitation to delve into our own depths — not to stir up unnecessary turmoil, but to lovingly let go of that which no longer supports who we are becoming.
It’s time for what no longer serves us to fall away, like the leaves… And for that to happen, some things in our lives must also fall apart. And while that’s not always pleasant, it does create the space for what we truly desire.
So, try to let them go with the gratitude for what is coming, and notice how everything is here to support you: the darkness, the falling leaves, the Sun that just entered Scorpio a few days ago, and tomorrow’s Full Moon energy will be magnified by a powerful lunar eclipse.
Whatever has been weighing you down, Now is the time to let it fall away.